


Subtlety is for Losers

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Adventure, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-16
Updated: 2010-12-16
Packaged: 2017-10-13 17:15:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/139692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or, how all Sam ever needed to do was learn how to confront his feelings head-on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Subtlety is for Losers

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my Tumblr in all caps. That should indicate something.

"Heeey, it's Quinn, my beautiful girlfriend who I am 1000% heterosexual for; what's up?" Sam inquires as he strolls into the nearly unoccupied room, which is only nearly unoccupied because Quinn, Sam's aforementioned beautiful and most feminine girlfriend, is already occupying it.

"Hello, Samuel. We need to have a serious discussion." The cheerleader responds, prompting Sam's grin to slip slightly. He steps further into the room, and settles into the chair next to her. The quarterback takes her hands, and puts on a poker face as he asks his lovely lady-scented female companion, "Yes, Quinnie? What would you like to speak with me about?"

Quinn rolls her eyes and puts her hands back, adding in a slight hair-flip for good measure.

"Look, Sam, I know you're gay." Sam's entire face pales, the only color still visible being the vividness of his YSL creme lipstick in 'Le Fuchsia', and he stands upright. But before Sam can respond, the girl continues.

"Please don't freak out. I'm fine with it, and honestly, I think I knew just from the moment I laid eyes on you. Or at least, from the moment I helped you clean off that slushie in the bathroom and you went all nerd on me." Quinn reaches out and pats Sam's knee before continuing further.

"But the reason I wanted to confront you is because I've seen the way you've been so down ever since Kurt left for Gay Hogwarts. I don't want to be your gay beard any longer, Sam; I want for you to be my sassy gay BFF. And as BFFs, it is my duty to help you get your fierceness on and get you some. And by some, I mean Kurt."

Sam is still just sitting there, and he doesn't say anything for a tense moment. But then he sighs, and the tenseness is visibly released from his body. He cracks a slightly goofy grin, and squeezes the hands that is still resting on his knee in reciprocation.

"Oh God, thank you so much for that. I really can't tell you how much your acceptance means to me, Quinn. I'm sure we'll be great friends. And you're right; I never really was able to see how much Kurt meant to me until he was gone. But how will I ever have an opportunity with him now? Finn's even told me Kurt's found a boyfriend over at Dalton. Some douche named Blair or Blaine or something."

Quinn smirks and stands up, bringing Sam with her by means of tugging on his hand.

"Not to worry, young grasshopper. Operation 'Win Kurt's Heart' is sure to be a success. Just follow me."

* * *

  
_Two and a Half Weeks Later_   


_  
_

* * *

Kurt is sitting in the common room, gazing out of the window with a pallid expression on his face. He sighs into his hand, and slips down further into the plush leather chair.

'I wish I could have gone back to Lima this weekend,' the countertenor thinks. Suddenly, a figure plops down into the adjacent seat and a hand grabs his currently unoccupied one.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?" Oh great. It's Blaine. Kurt grimaces unabashedly, and retorts with a sharp 'I told you not to call me "baby"' before sighing again and apologizing.

"Sorry, Blaine. I'm just having a bad week, and I didn't mean to take it out on you." Blaine just lowers his eyebrows and smiles at the younger boy.

"It's not a problem at all, Kurt; now, would you like to join David and I for a game of ABBA Karaoke Revolution on the Wii in the senior commons?" But before Kurt can respond, however, the door to the room flies open and suddenly Sam is standing there in some kind of homosexual glory, wearing what seems to be a modified version of the Gaga shower curtain Finn donned last semester. Quinn is positioned just to the left on him, holding a boombox.

Everyone stops and stares. Justin whips out his phone and readies the video-taking function in anticipation. Before a comment can be made, however, Sam and Quinn are strolling right up to Kurt, and the opening notes of Celine Dion's "Can't Fight the Feelin'" burst out of the boombox's speakers.

As the dress-clad blond works his way through the opening verses, Kurt slowly begins to stand up and shove Blaine away. Sam moves closer still, and reaches a hand out to one of Kurt's rosy cheeks.

"What the-" Blaine starts to say, but Quinn moves to push his dapper ass out of the room, and into the hall and towards the cafeteria. She makes sure to glare menacingly at the remainder of the students left in the room. However, Sam and Kurt do not notice a thing as they are too caught up in the melody of the song and the emotion in each other's eyes.

Sam hits the final note, and the noise from the speakers gently fades out as the music finishes. Sam is cupping Kurt's face, and Kurt has finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Sam... What are you..." But when he sees the sudden reticence in the slightly taller boy's eyes, Kurt grabs Sam's face and kisses him for all he is worth. Which is a lot, just for your information. They both angle their faces to get more out of the kiss, and are breathless when Sam pulls away.

"Kurt, I just never realized how into you I was until it was too late. I'm so sorry I listened to your step-brother before; I was wrong to do so." He lowers his head onto Kurt's shoulder. The brunet, still reeling from the epic, chemistry-filled kiss, just puffs out a small breath of laughter before kissing the base of Sam's neck.

"Really, it's fine. I never really got over the fact that we never got to duet together either. But... What prompted you to do all of this? And why is Quinn here? When did you come out? Sam, what _happened_?" Sam lifts his head and just shakes it in response.

"Short story: Quinn called me out on being gay, and decided that as friends she could help me get you back from Blair with the power of pleather dresses and Celine Dion songs."

"Actually, it's Blaine. But whatever; call him Dapperface McShittyadvice for all I can care." Kurt then pulls away from Sam, some of the glitter on the dress sticking to his school uniform but it's no big deal, not anymore. Kurt then runs back to the window and flings it open, grabbing Pavarotti's cage in the process and letting the little warbler fly free. Kurt spins back around and laughs happily, Sam joining in and they clasp hands and embrace once more. Justin finally flips his phone shut and Quinn smiles contentedly, pushing the pair along outside, making sure to grab the boombox on their way out to the hall. Kurt makes arrangements to switch back to McKinley on Monday, and packs all of his remaining possessions with his new, more considerate boyfriend's help. And they all lived in a supremely gay manner after all.

Except for Blaine, because suddenly he had no boyfriend and the headmaster made him clean up the glitter and debris left in the common room. Also, Kurt grabbed his copy of ABBA Karaoke Revolution before he finally departed just to spite his ex, and that bummed Blaine out as well.

* * *


End file.
